Ram and Shyam are the two persons struggling to be perfect like all of
us. On the one hand Ram is sometimes happy and some other time sad while on the
other hand Shyam is always happy. Obviously there must be some reason behind
this difference in feelings.
Let me elucidate the patterns of expectations of Ram and Shyam and how
they deal with it at different situations. There are two questions that arise
in their minds but the two questions are different which segregates their
feeling. Let us have a look.
Two questions are:
Ram: 1.What can I expect from the other person?
2. Up to what level can I get it fulfilled?
Shyam: 1.What is the other person expecting from me?
2. Up to what level did I managed to fulfil
it?
After these questions emerges, Ram starts working on the tricks to
achieve his expectations from the other person. While, Shyam starts thinking of
the ways he can fulfil other person expectations. Ram feels sad & depressed
when he fails to fulfil his expectations while Shyam feels happy & satisfied
that at least he tried to give what the other person is expecting from him if
not delivering it completely.
All of us are either Ram or Shyam or a mixed of two.
What I mean to say is we should always try to analyze what the other
person is expecting from us and try to fulfil his expectations. Then the
question is "what about our expectations?" What I believe is we
should not expect anything from others. It really hurts when we don't get our
expectations fulfilled. But even if anyone expects than it can only be
fulfilled once the other person’s expectation is fulfilled from you. Remember a
saying- “Do unto others what you are
expecting them to do unto you”.
The other question is "Do we keep on doing what others are
expecting from us? The answer is yes. Actually we do follow this principle in
our daily activities. Let me give an example, when we don't have work in our
office we usually indulge in chatting and gossiping or just passing time but as
soon as our boss comes to our table we rearrange ourselves and pretend to him
that we are working. Its well and fine and there is nothing wrong in that,
because we are giving the person what he is expecting from us. Our Boss is expecting
us to work and we show him that we are working. Even children when they see
their tutors coming they simply run to their house pull their bag out and sit
with a bunch of books. Actually they are giving what tutors are expecting from
them. So if it’s working in these cases it can also work in other cases as well
in fact it can be more beneficial sometimes.
Once you think over Shyam’s questions and follow you will see that Ram’s
questions automatically follows and will lead to better relationships and
happiness in your life.
Be Happy and Keep Growing Mentally.
