All about Expectations

Ram and Shyam are the two persons struggling to be perfect like all of us. On the one hand Ram is sometimes happy and some other time sad while on the other hand Shyam is always happy. Obviously there must be some reason behind this difference in feelings.

Let me elucidate the patterns of expectations of Ram and Shyam and how they deal with it at different situations. There are two questions that arise in their minds but the two questions are different which segregates their feeling. Let us have a look.

Two questions are:

Ram: 1.What can I expect from the other person?

  2. Up to what level can I get it fulfilled?

Shyam: 1.What is the other person expecting from me?

2. Up to what level did I managed to fulfil it?

After these questions emerges, Ram starts working on the tricks to achieve his expectations from the other person. While, Shyam starts thinking of the ways he can fulfil other person expectations. Ram feels sad & depressed when he fails to fulfil his expectations while Shyam feels happy & satisfied that at least he tried to give what the other person is expecting from him if not delivering it completely.

All of us are either Ram or Shyam or a mixed of two.

What I mean to say is we should always try to analyze what the other person is expecting from us and try to fulfil his expectations. Then the question is "what about our expectations?" What I believe is we should not expect anything from others. It really hurts when we don't get our expectations fulfilled. But even if anyone expects than it can only be fulfilled once the other person’s expectation is fulfilled from you. Remember a saying- “Do unto others what you are expecting them to do unto you”.

The other question is "Do we keep on doing what others are expecting from us? The answer is yes. Actually we do follow this principle in our daily activities. Let me give an example, when we don't have work in our office we usually indulge in chatting and gossiping or just passing time but as soon as our boss comes to our table we rearrange ourselves and pretend to him that we are working. Its well and fine and there is nothing wrong in that, because we are giving the person what he is expecting from us. Our Boss is expecting us to work and we show him that we are working. Even children when they see their tutors coming they simply run to their house pull their bag out and sit with a bunch of books. Actually they are giving what tutors are expecting from them. So if it’s working in these cases it can also work in other cases as well in fact it can be more beneficial sometimes.

Once you think over Shyam’s questions and follow you will see that Ram’s questions automatically follows and will lead to better relationships and happiness in your life.

Be Happy and Keep Growing Mentally.

Think Positive!!

Today I recieved a great meassage in my mobille. Thought of sharing it with everybody, so here it is:---

Things We Should be thankful for :::----

• WORRIES at the start of the day means you are still ALIVE.

• CLOTHES that don't fit means you have a good APPETITE.

• TEARS in your eyes means there is SOMEBODY YOU CAREfor.

• The MESS to clean after party means you have FRIENDS around you.

• ROOFS that need fixing means you have got a HOUSE.

• TAXES to pay means you are not UNEMPLOYED.

We must think positive in LIFE because everything happens for a REASON.

BE HAPPY!

Journey to Perfection

Are we perfect? Can we be perfect? Does our mental growth ceases after a particular point of time? The answers to all these questions are NO. Someone has said "The only thing constant in life is CHANGE". Actually, any person or anything in life can't be perfect. There is always a scope for betterment, improvements and growth. I was eager to write about this topic because recently, during my interactions with people, I heard questions like why we need to change? What we need to change? What we will be after a change?

Our daily life activities give us lots of opportunities to change ourselves but we simply ignore all the opportunities because our mind asks us the questions mentioned in the last sentences of 1^st paragraph. But these are the qualities of a negative thinker and our objective is to become a positive thinker. We should keep our mind free and flexible so that we can think lucidly and change ourselves as soon as we find scope for it only then we can be a successful positive thinker.

First step for perfection is to realise that we are not yet perfect and still there is a scope for change and only then we will be able to identify the changes required in our thinking and actions. One of the ways to identify the change required is to analyze our daily actions and events with respect to good and bad and then we will discover that we have lists of things to change in our life. There might be many ways to identify these changes but we must remember that path towards perfection is endless. Journey to perfection is the unending journey where “till the last day of our life we will have something in us which we need to change”. We must not get disheartened by this as we are improving day by day and emerging as a better and happier human being.

Out of our daily events some are good which makes us happier, but unfortunately some are bad which makes us sad and it keeps our mind stressed. What we need to do is catch those bad events and think why it is happening. "What is there in me to change so that I avoid those events to happen again in my life?" I am sure after such a thinking we can get relieved from our stress and even avoid such events to happen in our near future.

I know these are not easy tasks and we need to practice hard to think in this way. Even when we identify something to change, it will not be easier to change ourselves but we can achieve perfection only after rigorous practice and training.

My next articles will focus on the methods of practicing and training the mind for these kinds of changes.

Never stop your self-improvement and never deviate from the path of universal perfection.

“When you are finished changing, you're finished.” ― Benjamin Franklin

Be happy and keep growing mentally.

World is Dichotomized

We, humans, always try to prove ourselves a good person. But we must never forget that we have some bad habits and this is true for all. That means everyone and everything has something good and something bad and this is what DICHOTOMY is. If I state the dictionary meaning of Dichotomy it would be “division into two usually contradictory parts or opinions”. Actually good and bad are the two sides of the same coin as it was true for THINKING in previous writings. Thus I titled this article as “World is Dichotomized”. As in this world everything and every person have good qualities and bad qualities

Nothing is good or bad, right or wrong in anything or any person but our thinking makes it so. Based on our thinking and thought process our mind classifies a particular quality as good or bad. A quality appearing      good to a particular person might be bad for you or bad for a particular person might be good for you. It all depends on what we think? How we think? And how much we think? I still remember those days when I was told to keep distance from notorious friends and to be with studious friends. But one of my brother told me don’t make friends by seeing their habits as every person have some good and some bad qualities. A person you feel is good does not mean that he don’t have bad qualities and vice versa. Our actual job is to make friends and decide that what qualities can be adopted from that person and what we should ignore. We should not avoid a person at all just because you are feeling or said that he is bad. Bad qualities are something written in bold letters and are always easier to see but we have to search for good things in persons and it always depends on our thinking and thoughts that how we classify good and bad.

So we must always try to extract good qualities of a person and adopt it in our life. In a fear to get something bad we might miss out something really good.

This will help you to learn new things from others and you will continue growing mentally.

We can analyze everything in terms of good or bad based on our thinking.

So, keep thinking and adopting the good from our surroundings.