All about Expectations

Ram and Shyam are the two persons struggling to be perfect like all of us. On the one hand Ram is sometimes happy and some other time sad while on the other hand Shyam is always happy. Obviously there must be some reason behind this difference in feelings.

Let me elucidate the patterns of expectations of Ram and Shyam and how they deal with it at different situations. There are two questions that arise in their minds but the two questions are different which segregates their feeling. Let us have a look.

Two questions are:

Ram: 1.What can I expect from the other person?

  2. Up to what level can I get it fulfilled?

Shyam: 1.What is the other person expecting from me?

2. Up to what level did I managed to fulfil it?

After these questions emerges, Ram starts working on the tricks to achieve his expectations from the other person. While, Shyam starts thinking of the ways he can fulfil other person expectations. Ram feels sad & depressed when he fails to fulfil his expectations while Shyam feels happy & satisfied that at least he tried to give what the other person is expecting from him if not delivering it completely.

All of us are either Ram or Shyam or a mixed of two.

What I mean to say is we should always try to analyze what the other person is expecting from us and try to fulfil his expectations. Then the question is "what about our expectations?" What I believe is we should not expect anything from others. It really hurts when we don't get our expectations fulfilled. But even if anyone expects than it can only be fulfilled once the other person’s expectation is fulfilled from you. Remember a saying- “Do unto others what you are expecting them to do unto you”.

The other question is "Do we keep on doing what others are expecting from us? The answer is yes. Actually we do follow this principle in our daily activities. Let me give an example, when we don't have work in our office we usually indulge in chatting and gossiping or just passing time but as soon as our boss comes to our table we rearrange ourselves and pretend to him that we are working. Its well and fine and there is nothing wrong in that, because we are giving the person what he is expecting from us. Our Boss is expecting us to work and we show him that we are working. Even children when they see their tutors coming they simply run to their house pull their bag out and sit with a bunch of books. Actually they are giving what tutors are expecting from them. So if it’s working in these cases it can also work in other cases as well in fact it can be more beneficial sometimes.

Once you think over Shyam’s questions and follow you will see that Ram’s questions automatically follows and will lead to better relationships and happiness in your life.

Be Happy and Keep Growing Mentally.

Think Positive!!

Today I recieved a great meassage in my mobille. Thought of sharing it with everybody, so here it is:---

Things We Should be thankful for :::----

• WORRIES at the start of the day means you are still ALIVE.

• CLOTHES that don't fit means you have a good APPETITE.

• TEARS in your eyes means there is SOMEBODY YOU CAREfor.

• The MESS to clean after party means you have FRIENDS around you.

• ROOFS that need fixing means you have got a HOUSE.

• TAXES to pay means you are not UNEMPLOYED.

We must think positive in LIFE because everything happens for a REASON.

BE HAPPY!

Journey to Perfection

Are we perfect? Can we be perfect? Does our mental growth ceases after a particular point of time? The answers to all these questions are NO. Someone has said "The only thing constant in life is CHANGE". Actually, any person or anything in life can't be perfect. There is always a scope for betterment, improvements and growth. I was eager to write about this topic because recently, during my interactions with people, I heard questions like why we need to change? What we need to change? What we will be after a change?

Our daily life activities give us lots of opportunities to change ourselves but we simply ignore all the opportunities because our mind asks us the questions mentioned in the last sentences of 1^st paragraph. But these are the qualities of a negative thinker and our objective is to become a positive thinker. We should keep our mind free and flexible so that we can think lucidly and change ourselves as soon as we find scope for it only then we can be a successful positive thinker.

First step for perfection is to realise that we are not yet perfect and still there is a scope for change and only then we will be able to identify the changes required in our thinking and actions. One of the ways to identify the change required is to analyze our daily actions and events with respect to good and bad and then we will discover that we have lists of things to change in our life. There might be many ways to identify these changes but we must remember that path towards perfection is endless. Journey to perfection is the unending journey where “till the last day of our life we will have something in us which we need to change”. We must not get disheartened by this as we are improving day by day and emerging as a better and happier human being.

Out of our daily events some are good which makes us happier, but unfortunately some are bad which makes us sad and it keeps our mind stressed. What we need to do is catch those bad events and think why it is happening. "What is there in me to change so that I avoid those events to happen again in my life?" I am sure after such a thinking we can get relieved from our stress and even avoid such events to happen in our near future.

I know these are not easy tasks and we need to practice hard to think in this way. Even when we identify something to change, it will not be easier to change ourselves but we can achieve perfection only after rigorous practice and training.

My next articles will focus on the methods of practicing and training the mind for these kinds of changes.

Never stop your self-improvement and never deviate from the path of universal perfection.

“When you are finished changing, you're finished.” ― Benjamin Franklin

Be happy and keep growing mentally.

World is Dichotomized

We, humans, always try to prove ourselves a good person. But we must never forget that we have some bad habits and this is true for all. That means everyone and everything has something good and something bad and this is what DICHOTOMY is. If I state the dictionary meaning of Dichotomy it would be “division into two usually contradictory parts or opinions”. Actually good and bad are the two sides of the same coin as it was true for THINKING in previous writings. Thus I titled this article as “World is Dichotomized”. As in this world everything and every person have good qualities and bad qualities

Nothing is good or bad, right or wrong in anything or any person but our thinking makes it so. Based on our thinking and thought process our mind classifies a particular quality as good or bad. A quality appearing      good to a particular person might be bad for you or bad for a particular person might be good for you. It all depends on what we think? How we think? And how much we think? I still remember those days when I was told to keep distance from notorious friends and to be with studious friends. But one of my brother told me don’t make friends by seeing their habits as every person have some good and some bad qualities. A person you feel is good does not mean that he don’t have bad qualities and vice versa. Our actual job is to make friends and decide that what qualities can be adopted from that person and what we should ignore. We should not avoid a person at all just because you are feeling or said that he is bad. Bad qualities are something written in bold letters and are always easier to see but we have to search for good things in persons and it always depends on our thinking and thoughts that how we classify good and bad.

So we must always try to extract good qualities of a person and adopt it in our life. In a fear to get something bad we might miss out something really good.

This will help you to learn new things from others and you will continue growing mentally.

We can analyze everything in terms of good or bad based on our thinking.

So, keep thinking and adopting the good from our surroundings.

Pessimism or Negative Thinking

If you think that Pessimism or Negative Thinking are not at all useful and important or if you are just trying to run away from your negative thoughts then this article is for you because here I am going to explore the potential benefits or rather importance of these negative terms.

As we all know that every coin has two sides, THINKING is not at all an exception. I already talked about Positive Thinking in my previous blog and now it’s the time for Negative Thinking. In previous article I wrote that positive thinking is more important and helpful than just being optimistic. But in this case Pessimism is more important than Negative Thinking i.e. just the reverse.

                                                               

   In Pessimism we expect the worst possible outcome of an event, while in Negative Thinking we mould our negative thoughts & finally act to fructify that expectation. However, both the attitudes are not good for a healthy mind; but the question is can we discard all the pessimistic thoughts that generate in our mind? In this World where you will find so many pessimistic minds around you, is it really possible to be an ideal Positive Thinker? For me it was really an arduous task, and till date it is. But I found the way to use these thoughts in the positive manner. Whenever any such thought came in my mind, I learnt that this is also a possible outcome and tried to analyze the actions which can lead me to this result. But instead of working on those actions I eschewed them so that the remaining actions can lead me to the right path and the right outcome. Through my experiences I can tell you that it is easy to avoid the wrong actions than to always do the correct things. Say I give you ten things that you must not do, and simultaneously ten things which are to be done. Once you start to master them, you will find that it is easy to avoid the wrong actions because once you start doing it you know that this is not to be done and you stop doing it while in right things you may deviate from doing it and since you don’t know the negative effects or the undesired outcome of your actions you will continue doing it and will not achieve the desired and positive result.

Our mind gets attracted to negative thoughts much faster and if you don’t know the negative affects of your actions you will surely move into the wrong path. But by the above written method Pessimism will give you the knowledge of the thoughts and actions that are not desired and your job is to discard it from the positive counterpart.

So, don’t run from your pessimistic thoughts instead just analyze and replace them from the optimistic ones so that they don’t bear fruits to make you a Negative Thinker.

“Know about the Negative Thoughts and Actions and try to avoid them and you will automatically be a POSITIVE THINKER.”

BE HAPPY AND KEEP GROWING MENTALLY!!

Optimism & Positive Thinking

OPTIMISM!! A term that is familiar to everyone.  So, let me ask, what is Optimism? What I think is most of the people would say Optimism is thinking positive and there is no harm in saying or thinking that but unfortunately there is a lot of difference between Optimism and Positive Thinking. If I state the dictionary meaning of Optimism it would be “an inclination to put the most favourable construction upon actions and events or to anticipate the best possible outcome”. I hope it is clear what Optimism is? The definition lucidly states the words inclination & anticipation. This means Optimism is just an inclination towards a particular event or a prediction of an event. But this is just the beginning or a zero-level thought. What after this? What an Optimist is doing to fructify his inclination or prediction? So, the answers to all the questions are POSTIVE THINKING. In short, Optimism is just taking the things positive and Positive Thinking is thinking positive. 

Now, let me focus on the first part of the dictionary meaning “An inclination to put the most favourable construction upon actions and events”. If I say that you are a very positive & calm guy. You never argue or fight with anyone & you are just inclined to put the most favourable construction upon your actions. Now say someone criticized you and you showed no reaction to it as you are an optimist. It’s good that you were successful to avoid the skirmish. But till what time will you be able to continue doing that. Actually you are just controlling your anger and one day you will surely regurgitate all your anger upon him. But instead if you are a Positive Thinker, several questions will come into your mind as soon as you are criticized. You will think that why has this happened? Why the person did criticize me in this way? What is there in me to change? And you will change yourself so that you don’t get criticized again.

Now, let’s talk about the second part of the definition “to anticipate the best possible outcome”. Suppose two teams are to play a cricket match where one is weaker than the other and is sure to lose. An Optimist captain of the weaker team will anticipate/predict the best possible outcome that they can win the match. But the question is HOW?? While on the other hand, if the team captain is a Positive Thinker again several questions will come into his mind. He will think that how they can win the match? What are the strategies that can make his team a winner? And he will make his team as stronger as the other team and will emerge as a much better contender than before.

So, the difference is clear, “Positive Thinking can make you an Optimist. But Optimism can never make you a Positive Thinker."

First be a Positive Thinker and then an Optimist because Optimist may impede you from becoming a Positive Thinker. There are always some questions or difficulties attached with your optimistic thoughts just identify them by deep thinking and work out the strategies to resolve them by positive thinking.

BE HAPPY AND KEEP GROWING METALLY!!